What is domestic violence?

Domestic violence simply means violence, or the threat of violence, between members of a family or household.

The legal definition of domestic violence includes:

  • Causing (or attempting to cause) bodily injury including sexual assault.
  • Making another person believe they are about to be seriously physically harmed.
  • Committing menacing by stalking or aggravated trespass.
  • Abusing a child.

It is generally not considered domestic violence if someone:

  • Calls you bad names (without an act of violence or threat to harm);
  • Accuses you of cheating or having an affair;
  • Threatens to take your child(ren) or refuses to return them;
  • Threatens to call Children and Family Services (Child Protective Services);
  • Threatens the filing oflegal actions against you (e.g., divorce, custody, visitation);
  • Threatens to destroy or take personal property (e.g., keys, cell phone, car);
  • Has no history of physical abuse or threat of violence;
  • Is abusing drugs or alcohol without a prior history of abusive or threatening behavior toward you or other family or household members;
  • Has mental health issues without a prior history of abusive or threatening behavior towards you or other family or household members;
  • Uses reasonable parental discipline.

Are you abused?

  1. Are you blamed whenever things go wrong?
  2. Are you limited to doing only what your partner wants?
  3. Is your partner a “nasty” drunk or drug user?
  4. Are you forbidden to use money for yourself or your children?
  5. Is your partner jealous of outside friendships?
  6. Does he/she have a “Jekyll & Hyde” personality?
  7. Do you make excuses for your partner’s behavior?
  8. Do you do more of the work – paid or unpaid?
  9. Are you forced to have sex after you’ve said “no”?
  10. Do you need your partner’s permission to do things?
  11. Are you punished for misbehaving?
  12. Was your partner or his/her mother abused?
  13. Does your partner humiliate you in public?
  14. Do you live in fear of your loved ones?
  15. Is there a scene if you disagree with your partner?

If you answered yes to:

1-2: Take notice and work together to improve troubled areas.

3-4: Seriously look at your relationship; seek help from a qualified counselor.

5-6: ABUSE Issue; counseling may not be appropriate until FEAR ceases.

7-15: CRISIS INTERVENTION NEEDED. Seek individual counseling – JOINT THERAPY NOT APPROPRIATE!